i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
