I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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