My hand turned me down
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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