So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
