You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
