I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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