All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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