We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
