omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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