just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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