I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
