Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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