Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
