70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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