You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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