sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
