that's an acceptable place to lick
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
