? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
