come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
