I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Randomize
