So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
