You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
