found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize