dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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