The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
