Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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