omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
