I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
