Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Randomize
