No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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