yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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