My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize