if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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