Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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