Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
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