apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
We talked him into tasing himself.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
