dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
