I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
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