i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
