i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
