So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
