i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
