508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
