So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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