So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
