Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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