omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
