went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
