So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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