what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
