My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
