I think i peed on brittanys purse
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
