When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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