Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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