oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
