Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
