do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
