So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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