Rock
Scissors
Fuck
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize